


Faking It

by PacificHeights



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Marliza, Modern AU, Wow, but it also isn't fluff, it isn't sad, it's slightly fluff, much lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 20:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PacificHeights/pseuds/PacificHeights
Summary: Eliza reflects on what her relationship with Maria has been like, and the circumstances of which it was born.-Very short and somewhat old drabble whoops





	Faking It

She wasn’t doing it to get back at Alexander. 

No matter what everyone else said, she knew, in her heart, that she wasn’t doing it to get back at him. Sure, he had destroyed her, ripped her down to nothing and then incinerated the shards she had broken into, but she wasn’t playing with someone’s heart just to get back at her now ex-husband. 

That wasn’t who she was. 

Eliza had never been able to manipulate people. She couldn’t bring herself to even try. When she heard her sisters talking about molding their husbands into what they wanted them to be, it disgusted her. When she went to go support Alex by listening to him give speeches, and she heard the awful things that his so called ‘friends’ said behind his back, it made her ill. No, she had never been the type of person to use someone only when convenient. 

She wasn’t using her to get back at Alex.

How could she take a sweet girl and play with her heart, just to get back at someone who hurt her? She couldn't. She couldn’t, she wouldn’t, and she wasn’t. No matter what everyone else thought - no matter what they said - she knew that that wasn’t something she was capable of. 

So what if she had never really thought about girls in that way before Maria came along? That didn’t mean that her feelings weren’t true! Just because she hadn’t really thought about it until she was forty years old, had been married to a man for seventeen years, and had six children with that man - one of which had been born all but twenty one days prior to the pamphlet Alexander had released, going into graphic detail about what he had done - didn’t mean that she couldn’t like women.

She liked women. She was certain of it. Her kids, ex-husband, sisters, friends, and everyone else in the entire world, it seemed, were not convinced. 

She liked women. They were gorgeous. Beautiful, soft, kind, and they smelled nice.

Alex had never smelled nice. He was too caught up in work to regularly shower, and his cologne reaked. It was far too strong.

Maria smelled like roses. 

Roses. Beautiful, deep red roses. Red like Maria’s lipstick. 

Maria had taught Eliza how to do her makeup like she did - winged eyeliner, bold lip colours that Eliza had never been confident enough to wear, but, god, all it had taken was the gently touch of Maria applying it, some kind words of reassurance from the younger woman, and a kiss after that she thought would melt her, and Eliza had been convinced she could pull the look off.

Maria called her beautiful. 

Of course, Alexander had called her beautiful - beautiful, pretty, smart - but the way Maria had said it just felt so different. 

It was like she was actually looking at Eliza. Really, really looking. Looking at all her flaws, her imperfections, taking them in, and deciding that no, really, Eliza was still beautiful to her, even after six children worth of stretch marks, forty year old skin, bags under her eyes, dry hair - Maria saw all of that, and she saw past it, and she still thought that Eliza was beautiful. Alexander wasn’t like that. When he told Eliza she was beautiful, it was more out of a force of habit.

Maria was soft. Her touch was soft, and fleeting, and velvety. So rich. The way her fingers brushed against Eliza’s skin always had her stomach doing flips.

Alex never touched her like that. His hands, though all he had done was office work, were coarse from his childhood. Calloused, rough, and his touch was never quite as delicate as Maria’s. 

Maria was just soft in general. That was one thing Eliza had definitely found to be amazing about women. Maria kept up her appearance - she shaved and applied lotion often, resulting in silky skin. She used expensive shampoo and conditioner, and, God, it made her hair feel like water slipping through the cracks of Eliza’s fingers. Maria religiously used chapstick - she said that if she didn’t, her lips would dry and crack from wearing matte lipstick everyday - and the chapstick made her lips soft.

Alex was never that soft. 

Maria was just… wonderful. She gave Eliza everything that Alex never had. Maria was attentive, and kind, and made Eliza laugh like no one ever had before.

Sure, it was a little weird. A lot weird. Maria had been Alex’s mistress, and then, somehow, Eliza ended up with her. Maria was eleven years younger - twenty nine, while Eliza was forty; a big difference - and had an ex-husband of her own, whom she had divorced four years prior with the help of, ironically enough, Aaron Burr, whom Alex had the most complicated relationship with.

Eliza could understand how people may speculate that she was with Maria just to get back at Alex. 

She wasn’t.

There were too many things about Maria that made her heart race in ways that no one else ever had for Eliza to be faking it. There were too many things about Maria - from her smile, to her laugh, to her eyes, to her sense of humour, to how good she was with the kids, to how well her own daughter got along with Eliza’s kids - that filled Eliza with joy and warmth. 

Eliza wasn’t faking it.

She had never been more convinced of her feelings than she was as she felt Maria roll over, her curly, dark hair landing on Eliza’s shoulder as the younger woman wrapped her arms around her waist and pressed her nose into where Eliza’s shoulder and neck met.

“I love you.”


End file.
